Home

We've been back home almost three weeks and life will never be the same as before we left to get Grace in China.  We arrived home to posters and signs and bows and driveway chalk decorating our house and garage and driveway.  Inside there were more signs, food in the refrigerator, and food on the kitchen counters.  Our grass had even been cut twice for us while gone.  It's amazing what our friends, family, and neighbors did to welcome us home and to help get us back on our feet so we could concentrate on spending time together at home as a family.  Then, on top of that, we had people bringing us meals three times a week for the first two weeks we were back home.

Grace acts like she is home too.  She acts like she has always been here with us.  The dogs have taken her some time to get used to but its getting better all the time and she seems comfortable with them most of the time.  Life is definitely more noisy and chaotic - the one thing that I didn't want and that kept me saying no to adopting for all those years - but it's OK and not that big a deal.  Having a 3 year old at the age of 47 is more difficult and exhausting than it was when we were younger and our other three children were at that age.  Bedtime has never been so rewarding and peaceful.  The normal family struggles and trials are still there but Grace has taken some of our focus off of those problems and placed our focus on the "bigger picture" which is a good thing.

I continue to look back in amazement at the sequence of events that have transpired in my life over the past 15-20 years.  There are simply too many things that have occurred that required perfect timing for all of those things to have occurred by chance - I was recently reminded of this.  It's also amazing how all of those decisions seem to build on one another.  God desires to be a part of all of those decisions and events - it's up to us whether we let Him and it's also up to us whether we chose to open our eyes and ears to see and hear His presence and how He constantly influences our life.  I'm saddened to think of all of the times when I missed an opportunity to see what God wanted in my life because I wasn't listening and wasn't looking and all I could see or hear was myself.  I am also amazed at how prideful and selfish I find myself being.  If life was less about me and more about others, then life would be so much easier and rewarding and fulfilling.

I feel very blessed and very stretched to have been a part of this process called adoption.  I'm tired of filling out papers and I don't care to see any Chinese food for at least another month or two.  Sometimes it's so hard to focus on "playing for an audience of one" but I truly hope that the Lord has been pleased with our decisions and actions on this matter of adopting - regardless of what anyone else thinks.  Thanks again for all of your prayers, for the food, and for the visits.  We are very fortunate to have the family, friends, and neighbors that we do.  Even though it is so difficult to put a tangible value on something like prayer, your prayers for our family have been answered and have made a huge difference as we walked through this process.  It will be interesting to see how the Lord uses this little girl over the course of her lifetime to influence others.  She has already brought smiles to so many faces.  Any minor physical imperfections are dwarfed by her smiles and happiness and her joy for life.  If only my attitude and outlook could be the same.