Fw: Adopt a family

 

----- Original Message -----

From: Kevin Hallgarth

To: Amy Kline

Sent: Saturday, December 15, 2012 10:06 AM

Subject: Re: Adopt a family

Has it been decided that we spend $60 on gifts for the person in the family that we select and then contribute the other $40 in cash to the parents to be used for groceries, etc. as Doug suggested yesterday?

 

Kevin

----- Original Message -----

From: Amy Kline

To: Christopher Kline, Ph.D

Cc: Doug Hartline ; Michele Hartline ; Bill Gawne ; Colleen Gawne ; Kevin Hallgarth ; Sheryl Hallgarth ; Scott Barnhouse ; Ann Barnhouse ; Amy Kline

Sent: Friday, December 14, 2012 9:38 PM

Subject: Re: Adopt a family

Hey Guys!

I have been on the phone a lot with Glenda.  She did not feel worthy of being gifted.  She felt there were other families worse off than them.  However, I do know that they only have $300 left until DJ's next paycheck which is January 1st.  In addition, they have been housing and feeding a friend and her son because the friend's husband died in his sleep from a heart attack on Monday night.  This Oates have this group of friends (5 families mainly from the Akron area) that are Puerto Rican decent and also have no family in the area.  It is customary for families to come and grieve together AND eat together to support the family that lost their loved one.  This has also been financially taxing on the Oates family because they barely have enough money to feed themselves.  However, Glenda said that this morning someone had left two boxes of Omaha Steaks at their door.  She said that just when she had hit rock bottom, God showed her grace.  She did say that it is grace she doesn't deserve.  Tonight Glenda was busy cleaning out the apartment of her friend that lost her husband so that her friend could travel to Delaware for her husband's funeral.  

With much arm twisting I did get her to give me some ideas.  Most of the stuff was basic, so I made her give me some extravagent ideas, too.  I did tell her that we would not get all the things on the lists.  She would be happy if we just got one thing on the list.  Glenda would NOT give me any ideas for her.  She said that her gift was the fact that her family members would get a gift for Christmas.  When I pushed her to give me one idea for herself, she said that she saw a woman who got her hair cut at this place (by Acme) called "The Clippery" and she said she would love to get a haircut like that woman.

Here are the other ideas for the other members of the family.

Devin (5th grade girl)

Underwear girl size 14

DS case for the DS she got handed down from Dominique:  A large one that will also fit games

Dolphin Pillow Pet

Uglies Swim suit size 32 (she swims on heat)

Matching hat, scarf and gloves in white

An art kit (I added this one because I know she LOVES art).

New glasses (I have no clue how to go about that)

DJ (Dad)

Dockers Pants size 42 x 33

Golf shirts XXL (long and short sleeve) - The Gawnes are taking care of this with NIKE

Mock or Turtle neck

Glenda (Mom)

Haircut at "The Clippery"

Gretchen (22 year old college student/day care worker)

Socks

Black comfortable shoes that she can wear to work in the daycare.  A slip-on flat type that has lots of cushion.  Size 7

Clothes gift cards at Target or Charlotte Russe

The Gawnes are also getting Nike Fuel bands for each member of the family.  The value of these are $150 each.  This is an incredible gift because the entire family is trying to lose weight and live a healthier lifestyle.  They have been walking a lot as a family.

The Gawnes, Hartlines, and Klines will take care of assuring that the family can attend the Cross Country Nationals next year.  They have been in the program since they moved here and have never been able to afford to go.  Dominque will be a senior next year and will have run on the team with Devin for 6 years. 

The Kline family will take care of purchasing items on Dominique's wish list.

We do have another family that would like to contribute to this "gifting".  It is the Jutson family from our church.  Their daughter Adeline is very good friends with Devin.

My only concern with splitting the shopping up is how to keep the number of gifts for the girls (or the amount spent on them) even.

I would be happy to shop on Sunday afternoon with any other women that would like to go and get this knocked out together.  If that doesn't work for anyone, then I guess everyone just grab a person (Gawnes already have their list of stuff) and "reply all" on who you are buying for.

Thanks again!

Amy

On Dec 10, 2012, at 10:32 PM, Amy Kline <amykline@roadrunner.com> wrote:

Thank you all for your quick response to Chris's e-mail.  Let me share with you what brought this family to my attention.  Obviously, we need to keep this information confidential.  The family is the Oates family.  I was sitting with Glenda (the mom) the other day and she shared with me that they were really struggling month to month to make ends meet.  She then told me that they sat down as a family and told the girls that they would be unable to purchase any Christmas presents for them this year.  The 5th grader, Devin, cried, but Glenda explained to her that the real meaning of Christmas is Jesus's birthday and not a day for us to get presents.  She told the girls that they would play together as a family and celebrate Christ's birth.  She said that even though the girls were told they weren't getting any presents she did end up getting a puzzle so that they had something to do together on Christmas day.  They were one of the families that wanted to go to Nationals so badly, but couldn't afford it.

The members of the Oates family:

D.J. (dad)
Glenda (mom)
Gretchen - 22 (at college in Buffalo, NY)
Dominique - 16 (junior at HHS)
Devin - 5th grader

Any ideas on how we proceed?
Amy


On Dec 10, 2012, at 3:30 PM, "Christopher Kline, Ph.D" <chris@cdklineconsulting.com> wrote:

Team

Amy became aware of a family in the community cross country team that is struggling financially. There are a variety of reasons for the struggle, but it seemed like it might be a nice opportunity to come alongside a family who might otherwise slip in the gaps. Thought I would check with everyone to see if there was interest in a venture like this - kind of a you've been gifted 3.0!!!  Not sure about scale and scope, but lets start by seeing if there is any interest.

Let us know your thoughts

Chris

Sent from my iPhone

Home

We've been back home almost three weeks and life will never be the same as before we left to get Grace in China.  We arrived home to posters and signs and bows and driveway chalk decorating our house and garage and driveway.  Inside there were more signs, food in the refrigerator, and food on the kitchen counters.  Our grass had even been cut twice for us while gone.  It's amazing what our friends, family, and neighbors did to welcome us home and to help get us back on our feet so we could concentrate on spending time together at home as a family.  Then, on top of that, we had people bringing us meals three times a week for the first two weeks we were back home.

Grace acts like she is home too.  She acts like she has always been here with us.  The dogs have taken her some time to get used to but its getting better all the time and she seems comfortable with them most of the time.  Life is definitely more noisy and chaotic - the one thing that I didn't want and that kept me saying no to adopting for all those years - but it's OK and not that big a deal.  Having a 3 year old at the age of 47 is more difficult and exhausting than it was when we were younger and our other three children were at that age.  Bedtime has never been so rewarding and peaceful.  The normal family struggles and trials are still there but Grace has taken some of our focus off of those problems and placed our focus on the "bigger picture" which is a good thing.

I continue to look back in amazement at the sequence of events that have transpired in my life over the past 15-20 years.  There are simply too many things that have occurred that required perfect timing for all of those things to have occurred by chance - I was recently reminded of this.  It's also amazing how all of those decisions seem to build on one another.  God desires to be a part of all of those decisions and events - it's up to us whether we let Him and it's also up to us whether we chose to open our eyes and ears to see and hear His presence and how He constantly influences our life.  I'm saddened to think of all of the times when I missed an opportunity to see what God wanted in my life because I wasn't listening and wasn't looking and all I could see or hear was myself.  I am also amazed at how prideful and selfish I find myself being.  If life was less about me and more about others, then life would be so much easier and rewarding and fulfilling.

I feel very blessed and very stretched to have been a part of this process called adoption.  I'm tired of filling out papers and I don't care to see any Chinese food for at least another month or two.  Sometimes it's so hard to focus on "playing for an audience of one" but I truly hope that the Lord has been pleased with our decisions and actions on this matter of adopting - regardless of what anyone else thinks.  Thanks again for all of your prayers, for the food, and for the visits.  We are very fortunate to have the family, friends, and neighbors that we do.  Even though it is so difficult to put a tangible value on something like prayer, your prayers for our family have been answered and have made a huge difference as we walked through this process.  It will be interesting to see how the Lord uses this little girl over the course of her lifetime to influence others.  She has already brought smiles to so many faces.  Any minor physical imperfections are dwarfed by her smiles and happiness and her joy for life.  If only my attitude and outlook could be the same.

Not Home Yet

Sat on the runway in Beijing last night for 2 hrs & missed connecting flight.Slept in the Dulles airport. Leave at 8:30 am.Can't wait to get home.

Creatures of Habit

It's amazing how difficult change can be. People get married, people have kids, people change jobs, people die, kids leave for college - even the change in becoming a Christian is a big change. Most change is usually not fun or pleasant at the initial time that it occurs. Yes, there may be some excitement (depending on the event) but there is usually turmoil when lifestyles and habits change. I've found how poorly I adapt to change. I used to think I was pretty flexible. This trip has been both wonderful and stressful at the same time. I suppose any change produces stretching and discomfort in order for growth to occur.

I just spent 2 1/2 weeks in China for a little girl's adoption - and to think that Jesus left the comforts of heaven for 33 years to come to this earth with a purpose and a very uncomfortable task ahead of him so that we could be adopted into God's family by merely accepting what he had done for each of us. I only had to spend 2 1/2 weeks here in China and didn't come close to dying - although my wife might describe it differently due to all of the traffic and some traffic experiences that might seem like "too close for comfort". I'm ready to get back to my country, my town, my house, my bed, and my US food.

We've had a great time together as a family and getting to know Grace. Minimal computer time, minimal to no time in front of the television, no excessive texting, and very few outside distractions. Everyone has had enough of hotel rooms, hotel food, Chinese food, being a minority and stared at all of the time (especially when Grace is acting up), and not understanding 98% of the language that is occurring around us. It's sad to leave this time together and somewhat scary with all of the unknowns ahead as we make another change back to the US and a new living condition again with Grace. In less than 12 hours we will be on a plane headed for Beijing as the first leg of our 24 hour trip back to the United States. I can't tell you how comforted Sheryl and I were yesterday to sit in the US Consulate here in Guangzhou, China and see the US flag. It made us kind of feel like we were back home. We'll be staying home most of this weekend just to get readjusted with Grace and to the time change and will be laying kind of low for the next 1-2 weeks until we see how she is responding and adjusting. So far everything has gone very well but now she will be the minority and may feel even a little more uncomfortable for a while. Thank you to all of you who have been praying for us for the past 2 1/2 weeks and even the past 3-4 months. Please continue as we travel back home and try to make a little girl feel at home in a new country and with a new family and as we get adjusted to having a new member of our family and remembering what it is like to have a 3 year old again. This will be the last blog entry until after we return to the US.

Kevin

Photos 5

Photos 4

Photos 3